The Soiling
by Lady Heston of Bloomingshire
Summary: Basicly a story in wich Lord Loss and Cadaver encounter my friends, inspired by Lord Losses encounters. oFFICIALY FINISHED!
1. Rebecca

_This Is a story for my friends and you... This is my first story EVER please review(But be nice) _

One day in the demonata universe in Lord Losse`s realm, in a castle made entirely out of cobwebs Lord Loss was sitting on his webtastic throne.

He was playing cooking mama 3 on his pink and girly DS I. He was getting annoyed because he could not flip the virtual pancakes. At that point Cadaver came into the room eating an oreo. 'I am soooooo bored, you want to do something?' he said.

Looking at the half chewed oreo made Lord Loss hungry. His stomach rumbled loudly and made some of the demons in the room look at them.' Yes indeed, I could open a window and go to some nice old people's home or something' said Lord Loss ignoring the snickers and giggles from the demons.

'And I could do with a better meal' answered Cadaver starting to devour his second oreo.

* * *

A few oreos later Lord Loss and Cadaver were both standing in front of Tesco.

Cadaver was wearing a t-shirt and jeans while Lord Loss came out of the window wearing a weird looking black suit. And a green tie.

Suddenly Cadaver looked up and pointed his nose in the direction of the entrance and started sniffing strangley. 'I….. smell…..Kelog`s…. cereals…. Buy one get one free...' he whispered between sniffs. Than turned around and gave Lord Loss a wierd sidewise look. 'Follow me' he wispered.

He said and run into the shop on his tiptoes pushing over an old lady with a load of shopping.'Keep your dog on a leash yong man!' she shouted shaking her fist at Lord Loss.

'No thanks' he said with discust.

Lord Loss was rather freaked out by his familiar's behaviour so he went into Tesco`s to look for him.

After an hour of searching Lord Loss hovered by the fish isle to think. 'If I were an mad, overweight, hungry and stupid demon to what place in tescos would I go?' He questioned himself aloud, scratching his chin with one of his eight hands.

But then suddenly his thoughts were stopped as a little boy through a piece of stinking fish ice at him. The ice hit him in the ear where it got lodged. 'Ow!' yelled Lord Loss and suddenly was filled with rage. 'WHO THE **BEEP** DO YOU THIK YOU **BEEPENG** ARE?'

The boy looked really taken back by Lord Losses outburst. He went really pale and his bottom lip started trembling. Lord Loss knew that was to come.

'Ow no! Its ok, please don't cry.' He said quickly but it was already to late.

'Mooooooommmmmmmmmyyyy!' He cried.

At that point a huge fat lady pushed in front of Lord Loss

'What do you think you are doing?' she screamed and smashed Lord Loss in the face with her fist.

The impact made him crash into the tooth pick stand that was randomly standing in the middle of the isle. Than into the razorblade stand, and finally into a table stacked full of lemon juice testers.

After staggering out of the tooth picks, the razorblades and shaking off the lemon juice that burned his skin. He dogged the blows from the fat woman and hovered away as fast as he could.

He did not stop until he got to the frozen department. There was no one there accept a teenage girl who had his back to him.

Lord Loss was furious and needed to take his anger out on someone. So his demonic gaze fell on the blonde girl that seemed rely interested in comparing the prices on the frozen cheese cakes.

'This will be so easy, he he he…' he muttered to himself while floating towards the girl that still had his back to him. But his outstretched claws barely touched the girl when she suddenly wheeled around.

She had a pretty face with a small nose and freckles. She was dressed in leggings and a long top she had headphones on, trough witch Lord Loss could hear Justin Beber`s song `Love me`.

At first she looked startled. Then she regarded him with a experts expression and then she said 'Hello my name is Rebecca but you can call me Lady LOLington.' She said in a nice and kind manner.

Lord Loss was rather surprised with her reaction but the moment quickly passed and he was filled with bloodlust again. 'Hello my name is Lord Loss and I am going to kill you because I fell like it' he said bitterly.

'I know' said Rebecca approvingly 'Val said you shall come today, and I got myself ready'. Saying this she dogged Lord Losse`s outstretched hands and grabbed a frozen chicken from one of the shelves.

Before Lord Loss knew what was coming she smashed the frozen chicken against his head.

'Owww! What the **BEEP** I am the one who is supposed to be hitting you!' he screamed in pain as the chicken came down again and again.

'I had an orange for breakfast!' she screamed wielding the frozen chicken wildly.

Lord Loss gave up trying to hurt her and now was trying to protect himself ,shielding his face with his arms.

But very unfortunately he forgot to protect his lower bits as well. And as he tumbled to the dusty supermarket floor Rebecca saw her chance and smashed the chicken into Lord Losse`s crotch.

Lord Loss screamed in pain and collapsed on the white tiles defeated, twisting into a ball. He lay there groaning and clutching his private parts for about a minute listening to Rebecca's laughter.

'You shall never defeat me, Lord Floss!' she boomed in triumph.

'There is a penny underneath that shelf.' Said Lord Loss matter of factly while he was still laying down on the floor and looking underneath the super market fridge. Not paying any attention to Rebecca who was aiming the last blow with the frozen chicken.

'Now you shall die!' she screamed smashing the chicken down on the tiles , but Lord Loss was faster and got out of the way.

'Why are you trying to kill me anyway?' he questioned the mad girl as she charged at him with wild frenzy. 'I do not knowwwwwww!' she screamed back.

After getting chased by the girl for an hour all around the store, Lord Loss finally managed to find a shelf stacked with dirty magazines witch he managed to climb to avoid the swinging chicken.

But then as he looked around the good view of the store he spotted Cadaver by the children's magazine isle. He was looking trough a colourful Barbie magazine when he heard Lord Losse`s frightened screams for help.

'Make a window you tweeb!' He screamed as the shelf wobbled dangerously because the fat lady from the fish stand was trying to climb it and the little boy cheering her on.

Cadaver not knowing what was going on dropped the Barbie magazine that fell open on the fashion page and started franticly muttering the words of the spell to create a window .But instead of making the window to Lord Losse`s castle he said 'Sam's house' (I do not know how he got those words mixed up is such a weird way, but mind you, he is a fat retarded demon.)

But he was to confused and when the green window opened he jumped in leaving his master to fight for his life.

When he saw Cadaver run Lord Loss screamed 'You fatty! How dare you desert me, you shall pay!' and after a while he added _'In marsmallows._' But he was still trapped on the shelf and the fat lady was almost half way up the Play Boy section(which was near the top).

But when lord Loss fourth all was lost the shelf suddenly fell on the fat lady crushing her, spilling dirty magazines everywhere. The little boy screamed and run to help her and the mad blonde girl was still after him her hedphones still in her ears. This caused a small diversion and let Lord Loss quickly hover to the green window which was still open.

'We shall meet again soon Lord Loss!' she said darkly.

'Umm… I don't think so soon, maybe after a few weeks , darling, I like your feisty character I could use someone like you in the Demonata universe.' He said going towards the window.

As he was going trough Rebecca said ' Over Justin Beber`s dead body!' and flung the frozen chicken at the back of Lord Losse`s head. Which made him tumble foreword trough the window and pass out.


	2. Sam

Lord Loss came too with a chronic head ache. He was lying face down his forehead resting against something cold and smooth. He opened his eyes and squirmed in the bright light. He was laying on a white marble floor in a huge hall. From the ceiling hung a huge chandelier and there where huge windows on the walls covered with red silk curtains.

'Who ever lives here must be a demon master of some sort.' Muttered Lord Loss to himself as he stood up(or rather hovered up). He looked around and saw a oak door on the other side of the room.

'Hello? Anyone there?' he called but the only response he got was his own echo.

He spun around hoping that the window was still there but it was gone. To his relief the mad chicken swinging girl was gone too. He hovered towards the door…

As he was about to try the handle he suddenly remembered Cadaver.' That stupid filthy buffalo but' Lord Loss said to himself as he recalled his familiar's strange behaviour back in Tescos. Lord Loss pushed on the door and it swung open.

On the other side was a wide corridor that seemed to go on for ever a white carpet lay on the floor and the walls were covered with expensive looking works of art. There were doors on both sides of the corridor. Lord Loss was just wandering how he will find Cadaver in this maze when he spotted some black crumbs on the floor.

'Oooh, a clew' he said and picked one of the crumbs up and ate it, it tasted like an oreo. Remembering that Cadaver was eating oreos Lord Loss pulled out a comically oversized looking glass and followed the trail of oreo crumbs along the corridor.

He stopped under a white door on which there was a sign saying ' For the sake of your mental health do not enter' But he did.

He found himself in a rather large bedroom with light green walls. There was a king size bed standing against the wall with clothes frown all over it. Doctor who figures and books lay on the shelves and a plasma tv . There also was a milkshake machine in the far corner.

Having made himself a vanilla milkshake and slurping it loudly he looked around the room for any sign of Cadaver and his oreos. As he stared he spotted a door on which it said 'washing room' in posh handwriting . Lord Loss hovered to the door and put his ear against the wood.

From the bathroom he could hear someone humming 'wannabe'. He was sure it was Cadaver since he could hear the rustling of oreo packets and loud munching.

As quietly as he could he twisted the door knob and poked his head inside…

The sight that he saw scarred him for life…………

The bathroom was large and blue a huge dressing table stacked with spot creams and hair-care products stood in the far corner, a big built in bath tub was in the centre and was full of water and bath foam.

Bubbles were floating everywhere and in the bathtub sat Cadaver, he had his head back to Lord Loss and did not see him come in.

He was scrubbing his bum with a long brush while brushing his long hair on his floppy ears at the same time( He has four arms if you wonder how he did it)

'WHAT THE *BEEP** ARE YOU UP TOO YOU FAT PLEB!' screamed Lord Loss startling Cadaver who was just popping another oreo into his gaping teeth filled mouth. He spat out the chewed oreo right onto Lord Losse`s face.

At that point Lord Loss was mad at Cadaver, RELLY mad. Without thinking he screamed like demented monkey and launched himself right on top of the frightened demon who with a small cry was pushed underwater.

They thrashed wildly in the bathtub and soap got into Lord Losse`s crimson eyes ' Ahh! I'm as blind as mole boy!' He screamed and rubbed his eyes with his two hands while the other six were strangling Cadaver. They struggled for about a minute and Cadaver was slowly loosing the air in his lungs. He was thinking about his funeral arrangements when his hand closed around a Pantene Pro-V repair formula shampoo bottle. Gripping it as tightly as he could he smashed it over Lord Losse`s head.

It worked and Lord Loss let go of him. 'You shall be destroyed!' he yelled splashing Cadaver harmlessly. 'You dare!' answered Cadaver splashing him back. And before they knew it they were having a childish splash fight and giggling like little girls. 'Are we friends now Lord Poopoohead?' stammered Cadaver between bursts of lauther.

'Sure Crapaver, friends for ever' Lord Loss answered back beaming down at his favourite familiar. 'Bezzies Forever!' they both screamed in union and hugged.

But froze as they both heard a sound of an engine outside the room.

They exchanged frightened gazes as they heard the bedroom door open and heavy steps come to the bathroom door. Then the door opened creaking on its hinges….

The door swung open revealing a teenage boy standing on the other side. He was wearing jeans and a red dressing gown with the initials S.W in golden handwriting on it. He had dark blonde hair and grey eyes that were gazing with wonder at the contents of his bathtub.

'Cool I never expected to come into my bathroom one day and find two demons having a splash fight in my bathtub.' He said with amazement in his voice. 'So um, are you a lord or something?' questioned Cadaver while grabbing a towel.

'No I am a billionaire, my parents own all the theme parks in the world' He said casually while sipping a milkshake that belonged to lord loss a few minutes ago. 'I am Sam by the way' he added.

'I am lord loss an this is my familiar Cadaver' said Lord Loss while drying his head with a towel.

'We got into some trouble with a fat lady in tescos and ended up here.' He went on.

'You can stay here for a night if you want to, I am sure that tomorrow we could create a another window and you can go home.' Sam he impaled. 'I could use some company especially when my neibur Grubbs starts having nightmares and screaming randomly.'

'You live NEXT to Grubbs Grady?' exclaimed Cadaver. With bailment on his face.

'yeah, by the way you can burrow some of my clothes.' Said Sam and went back into his room Lord Loss and Cadaver following him. Little did they know this was the start of a very good friendship.

When the two demons changed into Sam's expensive clothes from posh shops they made themselves a another milkshake each and went into Sam's golf cart (The mansion that Sam lived in was so big you had to drive golf carts to get around) and drove to his one living rooms. Cadaver poked his head over the side and tried to eat the air like a dog but gave up when he got whacked on the head with a tea pot by one of the butlers.

For the whole day they played games on Sam's many consoles, ate and annoyed the butlers which gave Lord Loss a good meal.

Then after dinner they played chess, drank tea, danced to Paramour and watched Family Guy all at the same time.

Then came night time and they changed into their pyjamas; Sam had posh chequered flannel pyjamas with his initials sawn on it with golden thread and so did Lord Loss but cadaver had a red fleecy jumpsuit with a but flap that made him look like a red teletubby.

The most remarkable thing was that Lord Loss did not think of killing Sam once, and needier did Cadaver. So they had a hundredth milkshake each (Cadaver had oreo flavour)and sat down to tell ghost stories, Lord Loss told a story about how an evil demon master sent a virus to his computer and he couldn't go on Red Tube for a week.

Then Cadaver told a story about a little girl that went out with a demon master and he broke her heart and made her grow udders, leaving her with a constant supply of fresh milk, but no sweetheart.

'If I had a human girlfriend I would make her into a demonete and I would give her udders as well.' Said Lord Loss after he was finished drinking his thousandth milkshake.' But I would love her forever.' He added with a dreamy look in his eyes. Cadaver stared at him with surprise.

Then they all fell asleep in their pink jewel incrusted sleeping bags.

Cadaver awoke with the sound of doors creaking open.

He opened his eyes and waited for them to adjust to the gloom. He looked at the clock, it was four in the morning, he gazed around and saw the door of the room close.

Without hesitation he wiggled out of his sleeping bag took a pack of oreos and moved soundlessly to the door. Trough the crack of the door he could see purple light, so he peeped around and saw a eight armed shadow.

Cadaver trotted up to his master and realized that he was staring mindlessly without blinking into the purple window that he just created. Confused Cadaver waved his hand in front of the demons face but he did not react, he was sleep walking. This was weird because Lord Loss did not usually sleepwalk.

'Soon my love' he mumbled as he floated foreword and almost went trough the window if Cadaver hadn't held his sleeve 'Snap out of it!' hissed Cadaver and slapped the demon master's face.

What?' he whispered as he awoke. And pulled cadaver into the window with him


	3. The chapter in between

_Hi! this is a very short chapter but it has to be short to serve it`s purpose!(please don`t ask me what that means)_

Cadaver found himself in the shoe section in New Look. He quickly looked around for his beloved master, Lord Loss was sitting down on a seat in the middle of the dolly shoe section looking extremely confused. His red face had gone from pink to very light rouge. 'What just happened, can , you, tell me?' he said gazing up at him. 'Um, you started randomly sleepwalking and mumbling about `your love` then spontaneously you made this window which you pulled us both trough.' Then there was a long pause.

Lord Loss seemed to be thinking for a moment, ' I see!' he exclaimed putting his hand up dramatically suddenly making Cadaver drop the oreo he was nibbling. 'I had a dream about my love, so I must have opened a window to her realm…' he said gazing around the shop, 'it is still closed trough' he added and floated up to find some clothes to get change into(they were still in their pajamas by the way).

After Cadaver changed into jeans and a blue t-shirt and Lord Loss into a posh burgundy shirt and black jeans they both had to wait for three hours until the shop opened, they spent their time eating oreos and trying on different outfits that defied fashion in every single way.

But finally they heard the screeches of the metal curtain opening, as they saw the light in the shop appearing they run around helplessly looking for a place to hide from the shop assistant but fortunately Lord Loss found a place in the changing rooms but Cadaver had to do with a bra stand…

Finally they managed to get out of New Look and found themselves in a huge shopping center. 'I'm not exactly sure where to go but to find the girl I am looking for I think we should stick to this shopping center.' Announced Lord Loss while Cadaver took out his platinum card which housed millions of dollars.

'YOU!' They heard a shrill scream voice behind them, they both wheeled around to find the fat lady from Tescos standing there with a Macdonald's meal in her fat greasy hand. 'O SHIT!' implied Lord Loss hovering backwards, from the corner of his eye he could see Cadaver giving him a confused look.

'I will smash your face in you little red **BEEP**!' She screamed handing the paper bag to the little boy that suddenly appeared behind her. And without a warning she charged at the two demons like a over grown elephant, squealing with rage.

The people that where near saw a big fat lady launch her weight at a teenage boy and his dog. 'A family reunion' they all thought simply and did not pay much attention to what was happening.

Cadaver dogged the fluing ball of lard just in time but Lord Loss as not so lucky..

The fatty belly flopped him right in the face, the poor little demon master smashed into a bush screaming with fright. But as the fat woman got ready for her second charge at the helpless Lord Loss suddenly an oreo hit her in the eye at a powerful speed. After that one there came a second and a another, all aimed at her face and flung with deadly precision. She squinted her little eyes in the direction of the flying biscuits and saw a demon flinging a oreo…

Lord Loss watched with wonder as the oreo hit the fat woman in the death spot on her head(there is no such thing)and she fell to the cream colored tiled floor of the shopping center. Dead..

Cadaver roared in triumph, 'YYEEAH! DEATH BY OREO!' he wailed and run to Lord Loss helping him up from the bushes.

'OMG thanks Cadaver I owe you a favor.' Said Lord Loss hugging his familiar. 'Lets go to starbucs to celebrate.' He said and turned around to face the café as they walked hand in hand to the doors Lord Loss could smell the the screams of the little boy as he sobbed over the body of the fat lady.

When they walked inside and looked around for a seat Lord Loss saw her, his dream girl…..

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_See? that was the purpose.. now you have to wait for the next chapter..._


	4. Amy

_Hi sorry that you had to wait so long but here it is!_

_By the way, pleeesssse review. Im getting bored of asking now._

She was sitting in the table in the far corner of the crowded café by the window. She was sipping a cappuccino and talking to blonde girl which had her back to him. She had strawberry blonde hair that fell in a long straight shining veil all aver her arms. She had a low forehead and her face was covered with freckles, her green eyes flashed with happiness and intelligence as she chatted with the unidentified blonde in front of her.

Cadaver spotted that Lord Loss was gawking intensively at the pretty teenage girl in the corner of the café and gave him a sharp nudge in the side to stop the drool coming. Lord Loss reacted instantly but not fast anoth before the girl saw him staring and gave him a shy smile which made Lord Loss instantly blush and turn away.

'That's her.' He whispered turning to Cadaver who was busy comparing prices on the coffees. 'I know it is her, I was dreaming about her.' He added. 'If she is the one you have been looking for I will help you get her, what ever makes you happy makes me happy.' Quoted Cadaver as they lined up in the queue.

'Besides stalking her will be good fun' he said with a devilish grin a moment later. His enthusiasm made Lord Loss grin as well, he looked over the heads of the people and settled his evil gaze on his chosen girl.

He saw her looking straight back at him with a strange expression, the blonde girl that was sitting in front of her turned around and to his horror it was the girl that he met in Tescos, the same one that tried to crush his testicles with a frozen chicken. She did not seem to recognize him and after giving him a expert's look-over she turned back around clearly uninterested.

After they brought their coffee Lord Loss and Cadaver sat in the table from which they had an excellent

Vantage point from of the two girls. They plotted their next moves and tried to eavesdrop on the girl's conversation. While Cadaver was dipping his oreos in the coffee and Lord Loss devoured the grief of the children that were taken shoe shopping by their parents against their will.

After the girls (After an hour of eavesdropping Cadavers's huge ears picked up that Lord Losse's crush was called Amy) finished their coffee and were putting their coats on. Cadaver quickly finished off his oreo and pulled Lord Loss after him, he was not going to take chances in loosing them.

After they left starbucks Amy and Rebecca went to the cinemas in which they brought two tickets for `The Back up Plan` and so did Lord Loss and Cadaver, willing to go trough any kind of hell to keep track of them.

And besides Cadaver was starting to like Rebecca… Lord Loss got so exited that he was going to sit in the same room as Amy watching a film that he had to quickly hover to the toilets to let of the steam.

In that time Cadaver brought a huge jug of popcorn and mixed it with mini oreos. Then they both sat down right behind the two girls in the enema…..

The two demons came out of the cinema both hyper and discussed. Not only the film was totally gross but Rebecca and Amy seemed to get the message that they were following them. So Cadaver suggested pretending that they were gay lovers, so every time the two girls turned around to look at them they started passionately snogging putting them off looking.

But the hell wasn't over yet….

After that there was three hours of shopping. Lord Loss and Cadaver came to the conclusion that Amy was getting ready for an date with some boy called Justin. 'Who ever he is I swear that I shall destroy him…' Said Lord Loss when the two girls went to thee dressing rooms with a pile of dresses each. 'Thank god that Rebecca isn't taken yet' muttered Cadaver trough the oreo crumbs. They were hiding in the underwear section pretending to look at the bras.

Finally Amy and Rebecca decided to buy two dresses and after changing into them they headed for they final destination.

'Don't worry.' Cadaver heard Rebecca say to Amy who looked extremely nervous. 'You look beautiful, even a gay fat man couldn't resist you' she sad in a comforting voice. And so the two demons followed the two teenagers down the twisting streets of what-ever-town-they-were-in-but-it-must-be-somewere-in-Great-Britain-jujing-by-the-red-mail-boxes-engraved-with-their-coat-of-arms.

T

hey stopped outside a very nice looking restaurant with a posh dress code, so Lord Loss had to use magic to change the clothes on them.

As they went inside Lord Loss's perfect eye sight quickly captured Amy sitting on her own on a table for two. She looked so beautiful in her purple dress and the candle light shining down on her long ginger hair that he got exited again and had to run to the toilets to let of the steam(again).

**If you are one of those people that thinks 'what the hell?' every single time this happens here is a simple scientific equation:**

**Amy (Grubbs or chess) + Imagination = kinetic energy in Lord Losses pants + white body fluid + (heat energy)**

At that the point Cadaver was shown to a nice little table for two by a kind waitress and waited patiently for his master. He came out a little flushed and sat down opposite to his familiar 'So who is Lady Loss's lover?' he asked casually Cadaver who was munching nosily a bread stick. 'O it is no one special… just JUSTIN BIBER!' he said sarcastically moving his head so Lord Loss could see the scene behind it.

He saw Amy sitting over a bowl of Italian salad of some sort looking dreamily at the boy opposite to her. As he looked at the boy he realized that He rely was Justin Biber. Lord Loss watched as the beautiful boy chatted away to the girl who seemed lost in his eyes. Incredible rage engulfed him but he decided to hold it back and enjoy the evening.

After the waiters handed out the second course and Lord Loss and Cadaver were giggling away over their different childish ideas of how to get rid of Barbarus and the Disciples. 'We should invent the cow launcher and have millions of cow archers an-heheheheheh!' Said Cadaver a little tipsy on the red wine while Lord Loss suppressed a loud laugh by pretending to couth.

But suddenly Lord Loss stopped laughing and pointed to the spot behind Cadaver as he turned around he saw Amy and Justin Biber over a bowl of spaghetti Bolognese. The thing that seemed to horrify Lord Loss was that they seemed to be shearing a long strand of pasta between them…

Amy did not seem to realize that and was looking the other way but Justin Biber was sucking up the pasta with a horny expression on his face. This was it for the demon master, he suddenly felt the need to rip the boy's head of.

But thinking that this might upset his love he fought better of it and got up from the table and pulled out a pair of scissors and headed towards Amy's table.

'No! Cutting his tongue out will not stop him!' yelled Cadaver as he saw what Lord Loss was intimidating to do.

But instead of Lord Loss hovered up to the couple and cut the strand of pasta in half….

Justin Biber looked horrified, 'Baby baby baby noooo!' he yelled in a sing song voice as he was pushed of the chair. 'What?' was all Amy managed to say, because she was snatched up so quickly that her breath was taken away.

'Lets fleee!' shouted to Cadaver who shot off his chair at the speed of light (not literally) and was about to run for the exit when a slim figure with blonde hair stood in his way.

'Well well well, look who didn't finish off his desert.' Said Rebecca holding a frozen goose and smashing it into the palm of her hand regarding the demon.

'Ummm… I'm on a diet?' Sid Cadaver backing away to Lord Loss who was holding the struggling Amy in his clutches.

'Aeeeeeeeeeee!' yelled Rebecca as she charged at the demon swinging the goose at fool force. But even with a struggling girl in his arms Lord Loss's reflexes were pretty quick and he managed to jump out of the way.

Becky's frozen goose smashed into the head of a boy, a boy called Justin Biber. He was just sitting up when the frozen bird hit him in the face and he dropped down looking dead….Duh Duh Duuuuuuuh!

They all stood in the restaurant staring at the lifeless body of the singer, even Amy hugged Lord Loss for comfort.

Rebecca was the first to break the silence. 'You, killed Justin Biber.' Was all she said in a calm voice.

'Shit' said Cadaver, they dogged the goose and run for their lives…….

Cadaver was sprinting down the wide well lit street in a mad haste. Lord Loss was hovering behind him as fast as he could with Amy in his arms. Both of the demons wore frightened expressions.

The reason for this was that there was two million raving mad girls chasing after them. They filled the street up quickly their wild shrieks of rage filing the evening air.

'YOU KILLED JUSTIN BIBER , YOU SHALL DIE BY THE BEVER!' They chanted as they charged, Lord Loss had no idea what this meant but he sped up.

Rebecca was at the head of the army of the girls and was holding a huge J.B huddie launcher as well as the frozen goose.

As the two demons rounded a corner she and the other Belibers fired rounds of huddies at them at great speeds.

One of the huddies randomly started heading towards Lord Loss but instead of hitting him it hit Amy who's head dropped and her arms stopped waving as she became unconscious.

After an hour of running randomly with Beber fanatics at their heels Lord Loss and Cadaver started giving up and slowing down knowing that they will die anyway.

'I know that I am a strict master and you sometimes hated me, but I rely cherished our friendship.' Lord Loss was saying to Cadaver as they came to the same street they started running in.

Cadaver was about to answer when he saw an unmistakable turquoise patch of light of a window appear not far from them.

'OMG! WE ARE SOO NOT GOING TO DIE!' He yelled in joy pointing a shaking finger at the window as they ran.

'NO FREAKIN WAY! I AM SO **BEEPING** HAPPY!' Lord Loss screamed back.

Cadaver was the first to disappear though the window, Lord Loss close behind, before he went in he turned around to the two million girls and gave them the finger smiling triumphaly. Then carrying the limp body of Amy in his arms he went trough.

The girls surrounded the portal not sure of what to make of it, the window started blinking and fading.

Just before it dispersed Rebecca pushed herself out of the crowd and run trough the window. 'Do not worry Udder I am coming!' were her last words as she went into the turquoise void witch closed after her.

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_Yes, this is still carrying on... If you still want to read this you are eider one of my fririends or if not I love you. _


	5. Meeeee!

_Hi! Im relly sorry it has been such a long time but I had no time. It would be very nice if you could review, I feel like one of those people whoose mum gives their friends lifts and they never say thank you, Bu the way WARNING! There is a few saucy bits. _

* * *

Amy came too in a little room, the floor was covered in a fluffy cream carpet and the walls were white. To her surprise she felt a wet warmth caressing her mouth. She opened her eyes only to find the world's cutest demon kissing her full on the mouth. His eight arms were around her, holding her close to his chest.

But instead of pulling away and running off to barf in the corner like she would do a few minutes ago, she kissed him back.

Lord Loss moaned silently as he felt Amy's response to his kiss. His eyes were closed but he could feel her wiggle around in his embrace to find a more comfortable spot on the red leather couch that they were lying on. She threaded her fingers trough his hair (Does he even have any?) in a very successful attempt to pull him closer.

He opened his mouth against hers and felt her run her tongue along his sharp teeth. Then they plunged into a very long, slobbery and passionate snog. ( Don't worry Amy! I'm imagining its me and Heston, so It is a lot easier and I won't have terrible nightmares.) As they did so Lord Loss felt his pants tighten. He was about start on her neck when he heard a loud please-turn-around-and-stop-what-ever-is-that-you-are-dooing-and-look-at-me couth.

Amy was so startled that she threw the horny demon master off her, and he landed on the floor with a surprised squeak. He landed in a pile of marshmallows that stuck to him then he unfortunately rolled into the fire place and then for no apparent reason a bee hive fell on him. 'AHH! Why do those things always happen to me!' he yelled as he run around the room trying to get rid of the stinging bees.

In the mean time Rebecca watched the whole show from the viewing point of the door frame. She was holding a tray stacked full of oreoes and cups of earl gray tea…

Lord loss finally realized her presence and backed away slowly as he saw the murderous look in her eyes.

They stood there for a minute or so, 'killer' was the only thing that Rebecca said before flinging the tray at Lord Loss who dogged it just in time.

Rebecca prepared for a wild charge at the confused demon master when Amy stood in her way. ' Don't hurt him! He is my love!' she said pleadingly and throwing her arms around the demon's neck. She sniffed his ear and added 'Your ear smells strangely of fish.' Lord Loss remembered the fish ice accident in Tescos and blushed.

'I won't hurt him, Ill just break a few of his bones…' Cooed Beccy with a mad look in her eyes. She slowly advanced towards them her arms outstretched, It was like a horror movie except the girl was trying to kill the monster.

But before she could make her move, the door burst open at the randomest moment. Amy squeaked an run to hide under the huge ty. Octopus teddy that was in the corner of the room.

A tall girl teenage burst into the room, she had dark blonde frizzy hair that was held back by a pair of yellow protective goggles. She had large pair of light green eyes and full red lips that were pulled back into a mad grin showing sharp teeth threaded together by a pair of braces. She wore a white long lab coat over white leggings and a turquoise top.(KEEEEENO!)

Looking at Lord Loss and Amy she took an uncertain step back, 'Umm. I hope I haven't disturbed any thing.' She mused her eyebrows rising in amusement.

'No not at all, Amy was just finishing off cheating on Justin Beber with a Lord Loss and was going to tell me why.' Rebecca said and followed the scientist's gaze at the shaking octopus teddy.

'I don't knowww! I did love Justin just a minute ago!' squeaked Amy.

Shifting her gaze to Lord Loss who was still sitting down on the floor she smiled. 'Oh. I see that my window worked, nice to meet you Lord Loss mine name is Val.' She came over and helped Lord Loss hover up.

'Now I'm sure there must be a scientifically accurate explanation to Amy's change of hart.' Val said turning to look at Rebecca. 'Is there any thing that might have happened to Amy's little useless brain lately?'

'I know!' exclaimed Lord Loss 'She got hit by one of those J.B hoodies it went straight in her face, this is how she became unconscious.' He carried on.

'Oh! I see, so this is only a permanent injury, Amy will love you for ever.' Said Val her finger high up in the air.

A long silence came over the room…

Only Val did not realize it. 'Now, who wants milkshakes?' she asked happily. 'I DO! I DO!' screamed Amy and scrambled out of her hiding place. And so they set off down the corridor. But found themselves in a huge laboratory.

'No freaking way! Your parents haven't found this place yet?' asked Rebecca looking around with wonder at all the space- age equipment. 'No but they are getting suspicious' Answered Val and looked at her watch casually. Suddenly her eyes widened with terror. 'Oh Crap.' She stuttered and looked up at the ceiling.

Lord Loss and Amy followed her gaze and their eyes widened as well. ' Ummm. you never said that you had a bat problem.' Someone said but Val could not answer because the screeching started and the four creatures were plunged into a mass of black swarming bats….

Five minutes later..

'OMG, that was the hardest thing I ever had to doo im my whole demon master career.' Complained Lord Loss as he sat on a round table in the main part of the lab looking exhausted.

Val and Rebecca were closing the windows after all the bats in a hurry in case some of them come back. They have been trying to get trough the swarm of the little creatures and open the windows while eating oreos at the same time.(You should try this some time it is rely fun )

'…And this is how I screwed with .' Lord Loss was able to make out of the two girl's conversation. Amy was leaning against him short of breath an arm around his shoulders. and Cadaver was….

'Wait.' Fought Lord Loss ' WERE IS CADAVER!" he yelled suddenly hovering up from the chair and making Amy fall of him and the two girls jump.

'I dunno, the last time I saw him was when we were throwing cats at fat people together.' Said Val searching the room with her gaze.

Then as if this was some type of story written by a weird girl, a watermelon crashed trough one of the windows hitting Amy square in the face. Amy fell to the floor groaning in pain but nobody came to see her because their full attention was on the smashed fruit. More precisely on the ransom note that was stuck to it by a piece of chewing gum.

It read:

**Lord Loss**

**We have your familiar and we are keeping him hostage until you give us the following:**

**Walentyna **(Yes this is how you spell my first name) **Heston of HestonShire and Rebecca LOLington of LOLingtonville**

**We would like to make the swap in Disney Land.**

**Barbarus and his disciples xxxx**

They all stared at the note for some time I silence, the only thing making any noise was an owl outside the window. 'TWEETWOO!, TWEETWOO!, FTWEETOO!, FAWEETOO!, FUITYOUUU!, FUCKYOUUU!, FUCKYOUUUUU!' IT went.

Lord Loss was the first to brake the silence. ' Why did they make a ransom note if they sighed it.' He said 'And why does Barbarus want you?' he asked turning to Val.

'Ummm. He is a little thing called a pedophile." She mused, and they all burst out laughing.

And so the two girls, the demon mistress to be and the demon master all had their billionth milkshake and sat around the round table talking about their plan….

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_And guess what? This is still carying on. Please review and tell me if you like it._


	6. The strange chapter

_Hi! This is the next chapter, It is a little diffrent to the others. I relly hope you like it._

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The weather in Disney land was splendid, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Loads of people were strolling on the pavements in a hurry to get on the next ride or to have the place in the cheapest restaurant.

At that point in a souvenir shop in the food section a black window appeared. Some of the children that were there started crying and some run off screaming. When they finally started calming down suddenly Amy fell out of the portal, which made them scream again.

'OH!SHUT UP!' she screamed at the children. She was about to say more when Lord Loss fell out of the window and landed on top of her. 'Ohh. Look what happened just by accident' He said cheekily and started snogging Amy who idly responded kissing him back, much to the horrified children.

'YWWW! GROSS!' They screamed in union and run off. A minute after Rebecca and Val walked trough the window casually. Seeing Amy in Lord Losses arms(Again) Val coughed loudly to get their attention.

'Ummm. We are on a mission here, you two should probably get moving.' She implied pulling Amy off the demon master. Amy groaned angrily but did not resist.

After they all managed to organize themselves Rebecca realized that they still had an hour to kill. So they made their way to the haunted mansion and decided to go on the ride. Lord Loss sat with Amy and Rebecca with Val(Obviously). Val and Rebecca laughed all the way trough, especially when they saw an evil scientist.

' That's my great great grandfather over there' Giggled Val as the little carriage drove past the fake skeleton in a lab coat and white afro.

A half hour later both Val and Becky were standing outside the exit and laughing, tears steaming down their faces. Lord Loss and Amy came out a minute later still snogging. 'Ywww. Why won't they stop?' Asked Becky turning away, while the couple continued kissing.

' Oi, lord Loss why are you so happy here? Isn't Disney land supposed to be the happiest place in the world?' Asked Val , trying any thing to stop him and Amy from snogging for her frien's sake.

'Well, very ironically Disney Land is one of the most depressing places on earth according to the demons.'He said in his smart-ass tone. 'Here my powers are stronger than any were else on your planet.'

He was about to say more when a some one screamed.

But it wasn't anyone.

It was Cadaver.

And he was in distress.

Amy farted

'OMG! Master! You came to save me!' All four of them turned around and saw Cadaver and a few brutally ruth looking people holding grossest one came foreword and said. 'Greetings, I am Barbarus the leader of the disciples I am here to make the swap.' Then he turned to Lord Loss and said. ' I understand that you want your favorite familiar back and I need these two girls.' He blabbed gesturing towards Val and Rebecca who winced away.

'Ok, we might as well do it now.' Shined Lord Loss and clicked his fingers. For a minute no thing happened, but then Val and Rebecca stood were Cadaver had been and Cadaver was in their place.

'WooHooo! I'm free!' Yelled Cadaver happily and started throwing oreos around spontaneously while running around in a circle around Lord Loss and Amy. Who were snogging.

Rebecca and Val did not appear at least a bit bothered about the situation they were in. They stood quietly with happy grins on their faces. ' Do you know that Lord Loss is very powerful in this theme park?' Asked Becky curiously making all of the disciples look at them with confused stares. Completely unaware that a certain demon master was calling up a certain army of demons behind their backs.

A few streets away.

Cadaver had hit Mickey mouse on the head with an oreo an was now getting chased around by that pedophile in a mouse suit. Cadaver was scared, Very scared. He run down the alley screaming: 'I died an evil demon! I died an alsome demon! I died an virgin!' as Mickey mouse was gaining on him Cadaver was able to grab a pen from a souvenir stand. Then he run towards the wall on purpose, his demon instincts working at their full. He was no longer scared, he had a way out.

( Disney fans should not read this paragraph, I want no hate mail.)

'Oh no! I'm completely cornered, I will surely die!' Squealed Cadaver as he pressed his back against the wall, clutching his murder instrument in one of is four hands. He waited until the walking cartoon character got close anoth and,….

STAB!

STABITY, STABITY, STAB! STAB! STAB!

The demon pulled the pen in and out of the mascot, enjoying every bit of blood gushed from the wound, and the people around was surprised that his powers had gotten greater all over the sudden, as if there was a window near did not hesitate and ripped the mascot's head off and threw it at, Sam, who was there as well, enjoying the nice day in one of his favorite theme parks of which hew owned.

The head hit him at full speed in the stomach.

Sam hesitated for a minute not sure what had just happened. Then.

'HOW DARE YOU KILL MOUSY!' Sam screamed wiping the blood off his face. 'Oh dear' Fought Cadaver backing away from the grisly mess he had made. He doubted that the boy even recognized him.

'Disney freaks attack!' Sam yelled and suddenly all of the people including the children turned their heads in a freaky zombie-like manner and started heading towards him with pure hatred in their eyes.

'KillKillKillKillKillKill' they mumbled over and over as they moved closer.

Cadaver run back to the place where he left his master and master's new lover and best friends. He heard the Disney freaks behind him, they were now joined by the dressed up mascots.

But as he got out of the street into the main square he was met with a truly weird sight.

There was a large army of frightening, snarling ,wild demons on one side, they looked as if they were ready to pounce. On the other side was an equally large army of disciples, each chanting their spells and ready for battle. There was a huge space in the middle in which stood Lord Loss with Val and Rebecca at his side, Amy was in front of the army with Artery and Vain. Facing them was Barbarus and Grubbs.

Grubbs was drunk.

Val was about to say something but she saw Cadaver standing there and gestured him over to stand by her. She had her lab coat on and her sleeves were rolled up, she was holding two random looking devices in her hands. When Cadaver came over(Still aware that the Disney-zombies were after him) she hugged him and smiled, he hugged back. 'These are oreo launchers I had invented but forgotten to tell you about.' She said as they broke apart.

'Cool' Was all Cadaver said as he took one of the launchers and turned to face the enemy.

'' Slurred Grubbs, fell over, farted, got up again, and finally he transformed into a werewolf. As he did so suddenly a huge werewolf pack appeared from one of the lovely colorful streets of Disney Land. 'Oh shit, we are outnumbered' Said Lord Loss and gulped as he took a step back.

'Oh no we are not' Said Rebecca as she gestured to the demon-part of the square, everybody followed her gaze and saw about a million teenage girls appear from the streets. They were dressed up in 'I luv JB' hoodies and T-shirts. Every single one of them was armed with a hoodie launcher, their killer expressions were on their enemy.(Who in the mean time were joined by the zombies.)

'How come they are on our side? Didn't I kill their messier?'(Aka. Justin Biber) Asked Lord Loss surprised.

'No you didn't, when I hit him in the restaurant with the frozen goose he was unconscious, not dead. But I also hit his vocal cords making his voice even sweeter than before. Also Amy is with you now, and when you love a Beliber (A cross between Justin Biber and believer) you get treated like one yourself.' Said Becky saluting to the girls who saluted back and took their places behind the demon army ready too shoot. Lord Loss was talking on her mobile further away.

'Alsome but we are still outnumbered.' Said Cadaver but it was about to get worse.

'YOU FOUR ARMED OREO FLINGING KILLER!' Screamed a little fat boy as he appeared on Sam's and Barbarus's side, joined by all of the other fat people which like a family. 'Crap, this is the family of that fat woman I killed in front of starbucks with an oreo.' Carried on Cadaver, holding his weapon more tightly than before. In fear.

They were done for.

'Hi Lordy, you called me?' Said a young masculine voice and all of the creatures turned too see Darren Shan (The character) appear next too the demon master. ' Um, yes we need you and your vampire friends to wallop all of those werewolves there." (It was night for some reason)Said Lord Loss pointing at the werewolves.

'Nice, I never new there was such thing as werewolves. But I think that and his friends will have a great time.' Cooed Darren as a red haired vampire appeared next to him. 'Hi Mr.C' Said Lord Loss and hovered over to the vampire and gave him a high five.' We know each other from primary school' He explained later.

In a second Lord Loss's army had grown in umbers as the creepy vampires appeared out of nowhere scaring some of the demons.(Not the girls, the demons.) Who screamed in the surprise of their new allies.

'Can this battle finally begin?' Screamed Sam from the other side of the square over the noise of the crowd.

'Um, NO! We are still expecting some people!' Screeched Val. And she as right, from the now dark alley ways were filled with scientists wearing their white lab coats. They were all about Val's age and were carrying dangerous looking weapons. The most nerdy looking one came up to Val and saluted. ' Hi Lady Bloomingtile we came as you asked, but some of us had to stay home because of unexpected illnesses.' She said, her hair was a chocolate brown and she had a natural brown tan, her large brown eyes twinkled from beneath her safety goggles.

'Indeed, Lady Runnington, or should I say Emily." Said Val grinning at her friend, her brace twinkling in the moon light.

'OK. We can start now!' She yelled over to her nemesis.

'Fine! Prepare to be destroyed by the good guys!' Came the reply. Possibly from Sam. The two sides fell silent, the night was warm, a sight breeze wafting through the streets carried the stink of alcohol that coming from Grubbs. The clear sky showed the moon and the stars. Amy was whimpering somewhere in the back ground.

The two sides faced each other waiting for the order to strike. Just so you remember: Demonata vs. Disciples. Vampires vs. Werewolves. Scientists vs. Disney freaks. and Belibers vs. Fat woman's family

'If I don't make it trough this I want you to know that I love you,' Whispered cadaver in Val's ear. 'Me to' she answered and they kissed.' Cool, Im kissing a demon.' fourght Val. 'Cool, Im kissing a scientist. ' Fourght Cadaver. But they stopped when they heard the war cries.

'FOR THE DEMONATA!' Screamed Lord Loss, Cadaver and the rest of the demons in a deathly chorus.

'FOR THE SAFTEY OF THIS WORLD!' Bellowed Barbarus and so did the disciples.

'FOR THE SEX!' Screeched Darren with and the vampires.

'FOR NARNIA!' Howled the wasted Grubbs flinging a bottle of whiskey at Mr. Crepsley who attacked him straight away. The rest of the werewolves followed their pack leader's example.

'FOR SCIANCE!' Piped Emily and Val joined by the scientists. They fiered at their nemesis with their high tech laser guns.

'FOR DISNEY!' Sang the Disney freaks and charged. Sam staying behind. He climbed up the Disney castle and wached as the two sides crashed.

'FOR JUSTIN BIBER!' Roared Rebecca giving the signal to fire.

The fat woman's family didn't have time to say a thing. The hoodies took and the oreos them down.

AND THE BATTLE BEGAN!

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_This is my longest chapter ever! Please tell me if you like it. I might only carry on if I get at least one or two more reviews._


	7. THE GREAT BATTLE!

_Greetengs! This is the 7th chapter. I hope you enjoy it! It is my longest chapter yet. By the way thanks for the reviews._

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The great square erupted with a huge wave of noise. The hoodies were the first to close the gap between the two armies, the multi-colored rain pushed back the zombies. The disciples were able to doge most of them but many fell, strangled by the huddies. The brave Belibers carried on with the deadly volleys their enemies falling behind with every shot from the Justin-mad girls.

'Halt! It is time to reload!' Screamed Rebbecca over the racket of the battling vampires and werewolves that had started fighting a while ago. The vampires starting to gain the upper hand. The girls stopped to reload the hoodie launchers, Rebbecca giving the signal to Cadaver to send the first charge foreword.(I rely don't know how they all managed to plan this within five minutes)

'C'omon my dear minions let's go murder!' He shouted over his shoulder to the hoard of demons behind him. The nightmare army howled and charged straight oway, not even looking at the size the charge was in. The creatures seemed to be in a huge frenzy. As they charged they looked like a sea of living horrors giving off the weirdest noises ever. The disciples were the ones to be charging as well, only to find an unstoppable demon marathon charging straight at them.

The sides crushed together, the demons swiping the rival army of its feet. The horrors bit, ripped, disemboweled, burned, ate and all the other things their enemy. The vampires used their speed to outfit the werewolves, but the numbers were still matching.

The battle was only beginning.

In the middle of the demon charge stood the demon master, he was not scared actually he looked quite happy. His demons run around him. His crismon eyes taking the view of the battle. Amy was holding on to Lord Loss's waist for her dear life her eyes closed while singing. 'SOFT KITTY. WARM KITTY. LITTLE BALL OF FUR!'

Her voice trembled with fear, Lord Loss looked down to see her and picked her up holding the terrified Amy close to his chest. 'Don't worry my love. It will be over soon.' He whispered in Amy's ear and then gave her a pecking kiss on the lips. Amy looked a little bit better but was still trembling.

'Wait,WERE THE HELL ARE THOSE NERDS!' Roared Lord Loss suddenly as he realised that the scientists were nowhere to be seen. He was sure that thay did not run off but wanted to make sure. So he called Cadaver over and told him to go and find Val and the scientists. 'Yes sir!' Barked Cadaver in a military manner and set off trough the crowd of battling creatures.

As Cadaver run through the crowd he realised that the vampires were starting to rape the werewolves. This was so gross that he had to run with his ears over his eyes while eating oreos at the same time. He run around blindly but tripped over some thing or some one and fell over. As he got up he realised that he was actually witnessing Grubbs getting violently reaped by Darren.

'help, OW! Me, OW! Pleease!' Screamed the teenage werewolf to the freaked out demon, he was still a tiny bit tipsy but still drunk anoth to enjoy it. Cadaver fought quickly and took out his i phone to film the disgusting scene. He had an idea that Val will accept it as a present from him for their one hour anniversary.(AWWW :)

He stood there for about five minutes happy slapping the violence in front of him and eating oreos. Suddenly there was a whoosh and a huge cloud of bats appeared out of nowhere. The little furry creatures seemed to be very interested in attacking the Disney freaks. They shot down from the starry night sky diving in like mini black bombs. Darren was so surprised that he stopped humping Grubbs and looked up, only to get a bat tangled in his hair. 'Oh no! My beautiful locks are ruined!' He screamed trying to pick the bat out.

'No FREAKING WAY! MY LITTLE LAB FRIENDS HAVE COME TO HELP US!' Screamed a girl that could only be Val from the book store at the far back of the square. Cadaver did not hesitate and putting his phone away sprinted towards the double doors of the book shop. When he got there the lights were on and the middle of the room was cleared of all the book shelves and turned into a mini lab.

A few of the young geniuses in their lab coats were standing around the table examining different phials and computer screens. They all seemed to be hard at work. 'Oh there you are!' Exclaimed the girl that he remembered was called Emily. She was carrying a clip board and a pen, she came up to him and without a word took his arm and led him to the far end of the shop. He found himself between two huge book shelves, each one stacked with Disney volumes. Val was standing in between of the two shelves examining a purple laptop that she held in one hand.

'Ow hi I wasn't expecting you.' She said as she closed the laptop and put it under her arm. ' What brings you here Cadaver? Aren't you supposed to be leading your army of evil with Lord Loss and his lover?' She questioned him jokingly. 'Um, no I was sent here by him to see why you have left the battle field.' Answered Cadaver, he was in fact a little curious why they did so.

'Well. You see that me and my fellow nerds are not that good at fighting. So we retreated here to find the cure to this twisted disease that those zombies have.' Explained Val as she became aware that the demon was slowly aging towards her as she spoke with a weird look in his eyes. Also the all the nerds in the room had their whole attention on them.

Before Cadaver could eat another oreo an unknown instinct made him kiss Val. She in return got rely freaked out and screamed into his mouth, it sounded like 'what the hell!' But she quickly quietened down and responded to the kiss. Both of their eyes were closed so they did not see that all of the scientists had got their phones out and were filming them. The noises of the battle raging outside were much quieter here, all you could hear was that owl again.(See my chapter I'm not bothered to write it down.)

Suddenly Cadaver felt a weird sensation in his crotch.(I'm rely sorry but I'm not a boy and do not know how it feels to get a stiffy (If you know please tell me hehe (LOL a bracket inside a bracket)hehe ) so bare with me). And before he knew it he had prodded Val sharply in the stomach. 'What?' She squeaked and jumped knocking her head on the shelf above her head. 'Ow' She moaned as she rubbed her bruised scalp. But quickly straightened up, her eyes shining with sudden excitement.

'EUREEKA!' She exclaimed, her finger dramatically high up in the air. 'I just had the alsomest idea ever.!' She said as the nerds quickly saved the videos and turned on their voice recorders in case their fellow nerd gets bumped in her head again. Gathering her lab coat around her she swept to the middle of the room. After all of the eyes settled on her she took a long breath in and begun speaking:

'We all know that these Disney-zombies are only transformed into their demoniacal state if their surroundings are identified to their brains as Disney-land. So I suggest trying to distract them and making them feel as if they are not in Disney. We are going to need music and most preferably a live singer. I suggest using Cadaver's phone since he had stolen it from Usher, or so he told me.'

She was cut of as a Vain crashed into the room, she looked rather scared and it took her a moment to turn to Val. 'The Belibers are giving up, we need you to do something!' Was as all she said, Val looked at the panting demon for a moment with a surprised look on her face, clearly expecting a longer message. Then Cadaver spoke up 'This is perfect! We can call Justin Biber! Usher is bound to have his number!' He squalled and everybody cheered as Cadaver opened the phone book on Usher's x-phone.

**Meanwhile outside that stuffy nerd-filled book shop **

Lord Loss was making-out with Amy as he hit Barbarus in the face with a chess board. He was winning but he enjoyed doing it with style. His demon army was still battling with the disciples and the zombies but a tiny winy voice inside his head told him that help was coming soon, very vampires were now winning over the werewolves, of each many had retreated.

On the far end of the square the brave army of Belibers was battling on, but each one of them was sure that the end was near. Rebbecca was counting how many more voleys they could do before they completely run out of ammunition. But as she gazed up she saw a shadow come over the moon. All the other girls saw it as well and were shouting and were pointing at it and talking in exited voices. As the blond girl squinted her eyes she realised that it was a blimp that had covered the moon. And it was heading towards them.

As the blimp drew near all the other fighting creatures spotted it. Grubbs, (Who by now had been reaped repeatedly by Darren and was now on top of Mr. Crepsley.) got so freaked out that he passed out on the floor. The other werewolves cheered and joined the demon army on Lord Loss's side. For a minute everyone fell silent, all that could be heard is the deathly chant of the Disney freaks.'.'

When the blimp silently drifted to Lord Losse's side of the square the fighting had resumed. But suddenly the bottom of the blimp opened (somehow) and blinding yellow light spewed out. Once again the fighting stopped and all eyes were on the spot of light coming from the blimp, it was on Becky. The teenage girl seemed rather embarrassed and looked down. Then suddenly a rope came from the blimp and a boy in a purple hoodie slid down to the ground…

It was Justin Beaber

All the Belibers gasped

The demons looked pleased

Amy farted

He grinned at Becky, who seemed in a state of shock. ' your friend called me, so I came. To help you fight against this pedophile.' He gestured with his hand at Barbarus, his beautiful face twisting in disgust.'AWWWW' Said the belibers. There was a minute of silence in which Becky and the boy gazed into each others eyes. Then Val appeared with Lord Loss, Cadaver, Amy and Darren. 'Shall we all rave a little then?' Said Darren and clicked on a small black remote, and he music started

Musial fanfic! To Eene Meene by Shaun Kingston ft. Justin Baeber

The belibers started to shoot with the rhythm. Justin was singing on the microphone. Lord Loss was dooing Shaun Kingston's parts.(He has a good singing voice)

They sang:

_Eenie meene miny mo, shoot a fatty in his toe if he hollers( if if he hollers) shoot him more. _

_They are so fraked out, they can't hide, they keep on running , from left to right_

_Grubbs, come a bit closer Look in my ass yww you are so wrong I'm Dr. Evil_

_You seem like the type_

_To annoy them and leave them_

_And disappear right after this song_

_So give me the night _

_To hit you, harass you _

_Don't leave me out here plotting evil alone_

_Refrain!_

_Can't make up your mind, mind. _

_Mind Stop wasting my time, time, time_

_I'm not trying to rewind wind, wind wind wind _

_I wish my fists could smash into your face_

He turned to Amy:

_Cause Amy is a eenie meenie miny mo lova Amy is a eenie meenie miny mo lova Amy is a eenie meenie miny mo lova __Amy is a eenie meenie miny mo lova_

By the time Justin Sang his part the zombies and the disciples were retreating. The belibers were in fool swing and Barbarus kept getting hit in the balls by Becky. 'You shall be mine one day' He screamed at the blond girl who was standing by Justin Beaber who had his arm around her. ' Like the Belible(A cross between the Bible and Beaber.) says: Justin is my one and my only!' She wailed back.

Val and Cadaver were waltzing trough the square and eating oreos at the same time while blasting their nemesis with death ray guns. The evening was absolutely alsome and it was about to get even more alsomastic. The demons were cutting the disciples down like combine harvesters. But still more were coming trough. The scientists have now joined in the battle and were using death rey guns.

Suddenly a amazing fought accrued to Cadaver: He was going to propose to Val. But sadly he had no thing to propose to her with, and he didn't want to look like a tramp. With the spare pair of his hands he rooted trough his pockets but found no thing. He was about to give up when he remembered the bomb he hid up his sleeve earlier.

He let go of Val and took out the nuke(Yes, it was a nuke) then dropped to one knee and held it above his head. 'Lady Bloomingtile Heston of Hestonshire, will you marry me?' He said in a formal and pleading manner. 'Yes of course!' Answered the scientist.

On the other side of the square Lord Loss suddenly hovered to one knee in front of Amy. 'Amy will you marry me?' Said the demon master, but he did not get an answer because Amy fainted on the spot.

Justin Beber was still singing and holding Becky when he randomly dropped to one knee and took his awesome purple watch off and held it up to Becky. ' Lady LOLington of LOLingtonshire, will you marry me?' he asked in front of the girls who yelled 'Say yes!' To Becky. 'Ummm. Yes' Said the blond girl and kissed the Justin's perfect lips.

But the beautiful scene was stopped(And so was the music) When Val and Cadaver run onto the stage(It appeared when Justin came) chucking a beeping nuke between themselves. 'AHHH! IT'S GONNA BLOW!' They screamed in union as Val passed the nuke to Emily who had just appeared out of nowhere. She caught it easily and examined it carefully before turning to everyone.

' We have about two minutes to evacuate everyone from here' She said then stopped and took out an calculator and typed something in quickly before turning to them again. 'The explosion is going to be so big it will blow up this whole theme park, AND BEYOND' When she said beyond everybody gasped.

Becky held on to Justin

Val held on to Cadaver

And Lord Loss held on to Amy who was limp in his arms

Amy farted

'I know just the spell that will transport all of us to my realm. But I will need help from Cadaver' Said Lord Loss after a short pause.'Do it then! Il go and Get Sam' Said Rebecca and hurried off into the night, Justin on her heels.

Silently Lord Loss and Cadaver bowed their heads and started to mumble words in a strange language. The night was still warm and the noises of the battle seemed to quieten down. The beeping of the bomb seemed to be the loudest noise. Suddenly they all disappeared: The belibers, the scientists, the vampires , the demons and the werewolves. Leaving their enemies behind them. And the ticking nuke.

And Disney land was wiped,of the face of the earth.

But instead of 'Lord Loss's' realm Cadaver and Lord Loss said 'Sam's house.'

LOL

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_There will be a next chapter following shortly. Review if you like it._


	8. OMG THE LAST CHAPTER

_Hello! This is the last chapter of this story! I hope you enjoy it! A lot of rude stuff in this one._

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A few hours after the last chapter

Amy was in a huge room with white walls and ceiling. The floor was covered with a white rug and the huge windows were open to let in the warm breeze that fluttered the white curtains. Amy was also dressed in white, a white wedding dress to be exact. Her strawberry-blond hair fell all over her arms with a white veil that covered the top of her head and a silver tiara studded with diamonds.

She sighed and looked once more at her reflection in the long mirror that hung from the wall. Her eyes had turned purple and her teeth had gone sharp in the past hour. Lord Loss had explained to her that she had changed into a demon. She had also grown an orange cow-like tail that was now obscured by the folds of her wedding dress. She felt both nervous and happy, since it was her and Lord Loss's wedding. (Lol) In a few hours she will be known as Lady Loss.

In another room in Sam's huge mansion Rebecca as pacing back and forth nervously, her white dress rustling around her. Justin Beber's awesome watch was still on her wrist. She breathed out and came to the window that looked down into Sam's glamorous garden that stretched on for miles. It strangely looked like a posh polo club.

The grass was neatly cut and tables stood everywhere loaded with all kinds of food. The demons were resting under the shade of the trees, trying to keep out of the scorching sun. The beliber girls were pacing back and forth adding the finishing touches to the decorations. A small altar stood at the far back of the garden, it was decorated with beautiful white roses.

'This is gonna be such an awesome party!' She heard Val say from behind some bushes. The she saw her emerge holding a plate full of oreos and ham. She was also dressed in a white dress but it was much simpler than hers and Amy's, Val seemed to be the least stressed. Thinking of Amy Rebecca gathered her white skirts around her and headed for Amy's room.

In the kitchens of Sam's mansion the scientists were busy cooking the world's weirdest dishes. While Lord Loss, Cadaver and their new best-friend Justin Beaber were randomly throwing different decorations at the six-meter tall wedding cake that towered above them.

' There is no freaking way that I am going to kiss Becky in front of all of those gwaping people.' Said Justin after they had finished. 'Just imagine that everyone is a cabbage, that always helps.' Answered Lord Loss as he played with his black bowtie nervously. ' Wait guys, there is one problem.' Said Cadaver after a short pause. 'What?' Asked the other two in union. ' Well. Um, after our army had taken over this whole mansion and the wedding was being planned we forgot one vital detail, we don't have a priest.'

'A priest? Who needs a priest? Neither of us are religious.' Said Justin. ' But we do need someone to marry us.' Lord Loss mused. 'I know! We will call Usher!' Exclaimed Cadaver. 'WHAT!' Screamed the other two gain this time making one of the werewolves that was chopping oranges look at them.

' We can call Usher and force him to be our priest for the day in the exchange for his rely expensive phone!' Replied the demon simply while waving the phone around in front of their faces. ' That is a good idea…' Said Justin rubbing his chin. Then he snatched up the phone and opened the phone book on Usher's x-phone.( Again) (You might have realized that Cadaver is not eating any oreos. This is because he is starving himself for the wedding feast.)

Rebecca was putting mascara on Amy's eyelashes when Val barged into the room. 'Hi' She said happily as she skipped over to sit by Amy. This made Rebecca's arm shake and the mascara brush fell from her hand and fell on Amy's dress making a horrible brown smudge. 'YOUUUU!' Wailed Amy and then got up and started chasing Val around the room and screeching viciously like an angry parrot. Val used her genius and quickly took her wedding dress of and threw it at the angry girl. 'HERE HAVE IT! ILL JUST PUT ON MY LABCOAT!"

'By the way where is Sam?' Asked Becky trying to keep up the jolly atmosphere. ' He was tied up and thrown into his room with Darren and on guard.' Said Val while putting on her lab coat 'Oh, and Perry the Platypus' She added quickly. 'I set up a hidden camera to see what they are up to in there.' She said and tuned on the huge T.V that hung from the wall.

All the girls stared at the picture frozen for a couple of minutes. 'Oh Perry! Get in there!' Screamed Darren, this was the wakeup call for Val who turned the T.V off.

'YWWW.." Said Amy.

When every thing was ready and everyone was around the altar.

Everyone was there. The belibers, the demons that stood smartly in the crowd, the werewolves, the scientists in their lab coats, and so were the vampires. (Lord Loss put a spell on them to stop them from burning in the sunlight) It was within a few hours until sunset. The sky was still beautifully bluethe sun shone less strongly and the birds were singing. Thee was a soft breeze that made the trees rustle silently.

The whole garden was very noisy. Everyone was laughing talking singing and screaming. The atmosphere was happy and exiting. The white carpet that led to the altar was surrounded with people at both sides. The other part went right into the mansion where it disappeared under the shadow of the doorway.

'You go first!' Hissed Rebecca pushing Val closer to the doorway 'No. You go first!' Whispered back the girl. 'Fine! Il go first!' Said Lord Loss taking Amy's hand. Amy looked up at him with a frightened expression on her face Lord Loss squeezed her hand reassuringly in reply. Cadaver was going to say something when he heard Ushers voice.

'Hello everybody! I hope that I had remembered the wedding vows cause I'm gonna be preaching this weddi'n ' Everybody cheered loudly. 'How the hell did you get Usher to preach this wedding?' Asked Val suspiciously back in the mansion. 'Long Story.' Answered Cadaver.

The music started laying and Artery appeared from somewhere in a pink dress and started throwing flower petals all over the carpet. Everybody outside went quiet and stopped moving. Amy was the first to get pulled by her wrist into the open. Everybody cheered. When the young couple stood in front of Usher it was time for them to recite their wedding vows.

'Amy, do you promise to be mine and mine forever? And buy the way do not try to kill me, I'm immortal.' Sid Lord Loss holding Amy's hands. 'Um. Yes and don't try to kill me either please.' Answered Amy in a small voice. Everyone cheered again.

Becky and Justin were next to walk up to the altar. 'Recite your wedding vows please. Said Usher and winked at Justin who grinned. Before Becky could speak music was turned on and the boy in front of her produced a microphone out of nowhere.

_There is gonna be one less lonely Becky._

He sang in front of everyone his beautiful voice raising and falling. (He sang the whole song but I was not bothered to write it.) The bleibers gasped and some of them fainted. Rebecca stood mesmerized eyes wide. When Justin finished singing everyone clapped. But then it was Val's and Cadaver's turn and they sprinted to the altar trying to avoid the bats from Val's lab that were attacking them.

They stood panting in front of Usher, 'You might recite your wedding vows.' Said the singer. Cadaver looked at Val and said: 'Ummm. We don't have any wedding vows.' 'yes I know' Said the bride back. Strangely everybody clapped and laughed again.

'Now do you wish to marry that dude you are holding hands with?' Asked Usher. Yes. Yep .Indeed" Answered the girls all nodding happily.

'And do you wish to marry that chick that gives you a boner?' He asked the lads. 'Of course, Sure, Why not?' They answered.

'_**Then I am like oh oh oh oh my god! You are married!'**_ Yelled Usherspreading his arms over the newly married couples. 'You might now kiss the bride." He said smiling.

Val and Cadaver had a little peck and so did Justin and Becky. But Amy practically snogged Lord Loss's poor little face off. And then she would have raped him at the spot if Grubbs who told her to cut the cake and didn't stop her.

Then the feast started. 

It was the loudest and the noisiest feast ever. The werewolves ate like pigs and gobbled down every thing in their path. The demons ate with class using spoons, Forks and knives showing perfect manners and chatting poshly between each other.

The belibers and the scientists sang and laughed with the demons and the other creatures. The music played loudly and everybody had a good time. Lord Loss pored champagne all over Amy's dress and she got angry with him. She started screaming and chasing him around the wedding cake while every body watched and laughed.

Then the champagne sunk in and the dress started smelling strangely of oreos. ' What the hell?' Amy said turning to Val who smiled secretly. ' The fabrics of this dress are made entirely out of oreos. I forgot about that when I gave it to you.' Said the evil genius. ' Why would you want a oreo flavored dress?' Asked Amy and then looked at Cadaver. 'Oh I see' She said but before she realized the danger she was in.

Before Amy knew it the dress was ripped of her by a hungry demon. Cadaver was about to take a bight out of the dress when it dissolved in his hands. 'aww' he moaned sadly looking down at the slushy remains. When he turned his attention to Amy she seemed a little shaken. She was standing in the middle of the garden in her white underwear. Suddenly her eyes turned more predator like and she started breathing strangely.

She turned to Lord Loss who was hiding behind the wedding cake, obviously scared. Amy then started slowly stalking towards him like some type of wild animal. ' My raping senses are tingling.' She whispered in a horny voice before launching at Lord Loss and pushing him straight into the wedding cake that collapsed on them.

'Ahh! Help me! I hoped that this would happen on our honeymoon!' Screamed the demon master as his lady reaped him in the cake. Everybody started laughing hysterically and pointing and filming it. Even giggled a little.' It is good that everybody had a piece before this happened.' Said Darren cheerfully putting a mouthful of the white cake in his mouth.

When all was cleaned up and Amy got a new dress and Lord Loss a new suit the sun had gone down and it was a warm pleasant evening. The lights were all turned on to create a dreamy atmosphere. The couples got ready for the slow dance. Cadaver and Val said that they were not going to dance. Because they were too shy.( They actually wanted to stay behind and finish the food.)

The crowd parted to reveal a dance floor and then the couples paired up to dance. Lord Loss smiled and took Amy's hand in front of everyone while Becky and Justin sneaked in quietly and started dancing on the edge of the dance floor in case they needed to run.

The gentle music started playing and everyone was having a good time. Half way trough the dance Becky realized that Justin had a hidden microphone clipped on to his collar. She was about to ask him why hen the song stopped and everybody went quiet.

They stopped dancing

A spotlight was directed onto them

Justin cleared his throat

Amy farted

Justin smiled at Becky and started singing once again. Song fic! My favorite by Justin Beaber

_I always knew you were the best  
The strangest girl I know  
So prettier than all the rest  
The star of my show_

So many times I wished  
You'd be the one for me  
But never knew it'd get like this  
Becky, what you do to me

You're who I'm thinkin' of  
Becky, you ain't my runner up  
And no matter what  
You're always number one

My prize possession, one and only  
Adore you girl, I have you  
The one I can't live without  
That's you, not her (He points at Amy.)

You're my special little Becky  
The one that makes me crazy  
Of all the girls I've ever known  
It's you, Not her (Points at Amy again)

My favorite, my favorite  
My favorite, my favorite girl  
My favorite girl

When he stopped singing the crowd went wild and Becky kissed him not caring that they were watching. She never felt so happy! On the other side of the crowd Darren and Mr. Crepsley were making out, but that is a different story.

'WOOHOO! THAT WAS AWSOME!' Screamed Val appearing out of nowhere she was carrying a small black remote and a usb stick. 'Everybody shut up!' Howled Cadaver as he followed her with an oreo in his hand. They listened and went quiet, first they could not hear any thing but then as the creature's sensitive ears got used to the silence the could make out moaning coming from Sam's window in the mansion.

'What is he doing up there?' Said Amy looking up at the dimly lit window. 'Dunno but lets find out' Said Val and walked up to the wall of the house then pressed a hidden button somewhere on the wall and a thousand inch tv appeared. 'I have installed c.c.t.v cameras in his room before he was thrown into there as a prisoner' She explained to the crowd of curious monsters. ( You might have realized that I has said that before(Yes Val is me if you have forgotten.) but I had forgotten about it in the excitement of the day.)

'So what you are you waiting for? Lets see what they are doing!' Exclaimed Becky impatiently. ' Well we know that **something **was going on a few hours ago.' Said Amy looking at Darren and Mr. Crepsley who blushed and looked down with guilty expressions on their faces.

'Who is in there with him?' Asked Lord Loss turning to Cadaver. 'Perry the Platypus, for some reason.' Answered his familiar simply and turned to the tv screen. All the guests had produced popcorn and drinks out of nowhere and Cadaver was handed his favorite type with mini oreos in tit and . Then he settled down by Val by the side of the screen and sat down on the soft grass. Val stood up and turned on the laser pointer that was in her hand.

'Now what you will see might scar you for life, because I am not sure what is going on in there.' Said Val to the crowd and pointed at the window. 'So if you are faint hearted please leave now.' Nobody moved.

'Ok lets start then' Said the Scientist and sat down next to Cadaver on the grass. Justin Yawned and put his arm around Becky and Lord Loss was making out with Amy at the back. Then Val turned the TV on. The sight that came up was totally gross.

Everybody gasped

Becky covered her eyes

Amy farted

The enormous screen showed Perry the Platypus in agent P mode.(If you are confused watch Phinaenas and Perb) Agent P was humping Sam very quickly, they were both on Sam's bed with the pillows everywhere. 'Oh Perry!' screamed Sam with pleasure. 'Yww! Turn it off!' screamed Amy covering her eyes with her tail. But instead of doing what Amy wanted (And the rest of the guests) Val didn't, because she was not paying attention, because she was snogging Cadaver. At that point Cadaver got a boner that pressed the zoom button on the remote in Val's pocket.

All the guests went 'Yww!' as the camera zoomed in on the action. (I am very sorry that I cannot describe it in more detail. I am only fourteen and rely respect my parent who tell me not to watch porn.) Perry was now giving Sam rough anal. 'Oh sorry I had forgotten to put the speakers on." Said Val and much to everybody's dismay took out a cable connected to a huge column of speakers and plugged it into the TV.

The sound came up rely loudly and by loudly I mean LOUDLY. The audience's eyes went wide as they listened to Perry doing Sam at full blast. 'Oh and I forgot to turn it onto HD' Val quickly added she pushed Cadaver of her and clicked the button on her remote and the picture became much more detailed.' Here we go now I can start my documentary.' She went on loudly and stood up on her feet switching on her laser pointer and pointed it onto the screen. 'Here we have a platypus interacting with a _Homo sapiens_ a.k.a Sam' She started pointing the red laser dot at Sam.

A half an hour of constant commentary later.

'Now you might notice how the platypus's penis expands to fit inside its target.' Val said as Becky and Justin answered with questioning stares. Amy and Lord Loss were getting to fourth base. 'Were is the platypus by the way?' Said Grubbs as he sipped on his coke. 'Well he is right here…' Said the evil genius as she realized where Perry had gone.

Everybody gasped (Again) and laughed

Becky took one look and fainted.

Amy farted.

Perry had gone inside Sam, literally all that could be seen was the beaver like tail coming out of Sam's ass.

This was too much for Val, she had seen much more appalling sights in her life but this was absolutely disgusting. She quickly switched off the TV and everybody made a disappointed sigh. 'Why don't we rave then?' Said Becky suddenly after a minute of silence in which only that owl could be heard. 'TWEETWOO!, TWEETWOO!, FTWEETOO!, FAWEETOO!, FUITYOUUU!, FUCKYOUUU!, FUCKYOUUUUU!' IT went.

'Yeyy!' Everybody yelled and Lord Loss hovered ever to the speakers and plugged his I pod into them. The music blasted out of the speakers, the lights were turned on, the booze appeared and everybody started raving to the dance music. The party was the alsomest one ever and nobody got in a sulk that night. The demons, the werewolves and the vampires had a dance contest to see which race was the best at street dancing.

The vampires won because they were the sexiest, and Grubbs was one of the judges. He wanted to impress Darren so he gave them high marks. Usher preformed a few times and Val and Cadaver were the DJs. Amy was a bar tender but quickly stopped as the creatures realized that she was spiking up the drinks. There is not much more I can say about this party, It was an amazing, happy, exiting, just like any other night at the club.

Everybody raved so much that they created an earthquake and Sam's mansion collapsed leaving only his room standing. Sam didn't realize that and carried on humping Perry.

After the party finished (It was six in the morning) the three married couples were weaved goodbye by their guests as they set of on their honeymoon.

THE END?

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_Do you think I sould write a story about the honey moon? Or just leave it? I relly enjoyed writing this by the way and I am relly happy about the reviews. I would love a little bit more reviews. I enjoy reading them ;)_


	9. Author's stuff

_Here I will answer any questions about my story that you have._

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lol

Eamily was left bechind in the battle so she did not appear in the last chapter.(she died)


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